Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things in a Human Way (Hougaard and Carter, 2022)

Bestselling authors Hougaard and Carter have followed their earlier works on productivity (One Second Ahead) and a comprehensive approach to leadership in the 21st century (The Mind of the Leader) with engaging and practical advice on how to manage the classic struggle around following our hearts or sticking with bottom-line facts. This book couldn't be more timely, as nurse leaders at all levels move away from top-down styles of leadership toward fostering an environment of meaning, purpose, and a sense of connectedness. This isn't a book of theories but rather a handbook for what compassion in the workplace looks like.

Based on substantial research in the corporate world, the authors highlight the differences among caring avoidance, uncaring execution, ineffective indifference, and wise compassion, which are all patterns we recognize. They follow this with several mantras or principles such as: "connect with empathy/lead with compassion," "busyness kills your heart," "choose courage over comfort," "clarity is kindness," "the only way out is through," and "unlearn management/relearn being human." With more than 50 measures and strategies behind these points, readers are left with the clear sense that leading with both the heart and the mind, being candid, and having the courage to have hard conversations are essential skills for effective leadership. At a time when nurse leaders are challenged in so many ways, the authors provide a primer on how to lead when leading is tough.

Written in a conversational style, this short book makes the case that when hard decisions come our way, as they inevitably will, we can see them as opportunities for growth and handle them in a manner that serves the greater good and reflects a caring presence, transparency, and courage. If you want to lead with your heart and your head while creating a more compassionate work environment, this is a must read.

Leaders Can't Be Pleasers (At the Table with Patrick Lencioni, Episode 117, February 25, 2022: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/leaders-cant-be-pleasers/id1474171732?i=10)

In this 20-minute conversation with members of his team and a guest minister, Lencioni addresses leaders' internal conflict between wanting to be liked and having to do something that creates discontent or makes them unpopular. All too often we get caught up in the effort to be nice and keep everyone happy. As Lencioni mentions, leadership is a combination of both grace and truth and, if we lack either one of those, things go south.

The need to have a "true north" rooted in values and a sense of mission is essential and, without that, leaders risk losing their self-respect and the respect of those they lead. The value of doing the right thing must supersede the leader's need for affirmation, however hard that may be.

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box, 3rd Edition (The Arbinger Institute, 2018)

This classic book, originally published in 2000, continues to grow in sales, with a worldwide audience ranging from college students to CEOs and promoted by therapists, teachers, coaches, and executives for team building, conflict resolution, and personal growth.

Published in more than 20 languages and viewed by many as a "life changer," this profound book is written in a story format and is filled with insights that deepen the reader's self-awareness in lasting ways. It will likely change your perspective on many things that you never realized were important and allow you to see yourself "in the box of self-deception." It provides a sense of the next steps needed to change the self-sabotage we all fall prey to regardless of the roles we play.

Recognizing how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and your ability to make changes are prerequisites for leadership, which explains why this book is used for improving teams, transforming how organizations foster accountability, or even screening applicants for key roles during the hiring process. As noted in the latest edition, many organizations have made this book mandatory reading for leadership development programs. Not only will it be a keeper on your bookshelf, you'll probably want to give a copy to your colleagues in human resources or someone in your family.