As a new nurse, I had a memorable experience with an elderly patient who taught me the importance of spiritual care in nursing. We bonded through our Christian faith; she shared her ministries and devotions with me as I cared for her throughout three consecutive night shifts. She asked me to pray with her before she slept and when she felt anxious in the middle of the night. What I remember the most was the way she would recite Psalm 23 to comfort herself from pain and loneliness.
Years later, in September 2020, I was hospitalized twice for COVID-19. During my second admission, I thought it was time for God to take me. I prayed, "Lord, if this is my time, please take me. And if it isn't, then allow me to live the rest of my life serving you."
I remember praying, "God, why me?" This is when my experience with the elderly patient came back to me. I remembered her unconditional faith in God while suffering from great sickness. I remembered the way she prayed and sang to God. I remembered how she shared her testimony with her nurses.
Thus, on my hospital bed, I started praying and reading the Psalms. I stumbled upon Psalm 13, which perfectly explained how I felt:
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? For ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. (KJV)
God was merciful to me. Throughout my hospitalization, I finally understood the pain and loneliness many of my patients feel. I remember staring at the blank walls, listening to my heavy breathing. I remember the fear my family and friends faced and the overall uncertainty of my recovery. Many nights were sorrowful and tear-filled.
I continually prayed for patience, strength, and wisdom. It took me a couple of months before I realized that God was answering my prayers through my sickness.
Through my sickness, I faced uncertainty in all aspects of my life, not knowing when I would be able to live normally again. But God helped me be more faithful to him.
Through my sickness, I had to relearn how to walk, breathe, and think. But God taught me patience.
Through my sickness, I felt physical and mental pain, feeling darkness I have never experienced before. But God gave me strength.
Through my sickness, I spent more time with God through prayer and his Word. God gave me wisdom.
I found peace in knowing my place with him in eternity. I thanked God for giving me his son, Jesus Christ, and his gift of salvation. Instead of reciting Psalm 13, I finally understood the elderly patient and the comfort she found in Psalm 23:3-4:
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (KJV)
The valley has rich soil and water to help plants grow. It was down in the valley where God planted me and allowed me to grow in ways that would have otherwise taken me years to attain. He removed distractions from my life and watered me with his unconditional grace. It was down in the valley where he showed me his unwavering love and faithfulness.
Through my experiences as a nurse and as a patient, God has given me a bigger purpose. His plans are beyond my comprehension, but I am grateful that God continues to shine his light through me.