Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. - -Calvin Coolidge
I arrived at work on my medical-surgical unit, enthusiastic and ready to make a difference. We had great team spirit among staff and frequently joked about the 2 shortest nurses on the unit, me and a colleague who often worked side by side and helped each other-she White and me Black. In my meticulously pressed uniform and sporting a 4-month baby bump, I could not have anticipated being blamed, physically assaulted, and brought to the brink of losing my job. The precipitating event was a patient's complaint of offensive conduct by her nurse. The complaint was made directly to one of the hospital supervisors, a White male nurse.
The distressed patient did not know the offending nurse's name, but she was certain that the nurse was short in stature. Instead of prompting the patient for a complete description, the supervisor stormed out of the patient's room and accosted me in the hallway, passing on his way, the offending nurse, who was short but White. He stood over me, shaking his finger in my face, and accused me of leaving the patient on the bedpan for over 2 hours and ignoring her calls for help. I explained that I had just arrived to work, had not yet cared for any patient, and could not possibly be the offender. The supervisor sternly instructed me to go home. I calmly responded that I would not leave until he investigated further. He got even more irritated and pushed me in the presence of other nurses, including the offending nurse, despite my professional status and my obviously pregnant state. I stumbled back but remained upright. I was frightened and humiliated. I retreated down the hallway and made several attempts to reach the director of nursing to report the incident with the supervisor but to no avail. I let the hospital operator know that I was considering contacting the media to share what had occurred. The On-Call Hospital Administrator finally contacted me. She did not give me the opportunity to explain my reason for the call and instead told me that I was suspended and should leave the hospital immediately.
Despite my shock at her directive to leave the hospital, I calmly replied that I would leave only after reporting to Security and the police about my being pushed by the supervisor. The Administrator paused and then asked me to describe what happened from my point of view. After hearing my side of the story, she expressed concern, promised to investigate, and asked me not to call the police until she completed her investigation. She asked that I report to her office the next morning.
I had a restless night and arrived at the Administrator's office expecting the worst. Instead, she reported that her investigation revealed that the offending nurse was not me but the "other short nurse," who happened to be White. She also apologized and explained that she had met with the nurse manager who was expecting my return to work. A few days later, I learned from a few trusted colleagues that the nurse supervisor who had pushed me was so embarrassed at overreacting without investigating further that he had fabricated the story that I was the offending nurse. Although the supervisor remained on the hospital staff, he no longer had responsibility for the unit on which I worked.
The power of implicit bias cannot be ignored-2 short nurses, one Black, and one White-in the absence of complete information which gets blamed, silenced, pushed, and nearly suspended-the Black nurse! I cannot explain where I got the courage to confront the series of challenges presented in this story. Was it not for my innate assertiveness, my "enough is enough" attitude, and my determination to succeed in nursing, I would have been dismissed, disgraced, disempowered, and demeaned, all because I am a short nurse who is Black?
With further reflection, I am reminded of how my skin color can trigger the worse version of human behavior in specific environments. White is good, black is bad-these common metaphors create an image of the possible wrongdoer, thus increasing the chance of false accusation. One would think that nurse supervisors would know to gather complete information from the patient to identify the offending nurse accurately, given that nurses are educated to collect data through careful assessment. I acknowledge that the patient was upset, but the supervisor's impulsive action toward me, based on a cursory assessment, was unnecessary and unjust.
Erroneously accused and negatively judged so many times, I continue to stand up and speak out. I am proud of how far I have come. To those who can relate to my experiences, I say, speak up, ask questions, insist on justice, and never back down! It may seem expedient to blame the easy target, to cover one's missteps, but expedience is no substitute for justice. I hope this story will inspire readers to summon the courage to tackle any form of mistreatment.