At the time of this writing, the year 2020 is half over. The last 6 months have been some of the slowest and fastest months ever experienced in history. For instance, March felt like it was 328 days long while April felt like it was over in just 13 days. The world has experienced a pandemic, and our country has experienced an awakening. My state has experienced record numbers of tornados in one day, and my house has experienced a derecho (I learned the value of a generator when we were without power for an eternity ... or rather 5 days). The year 2020 needs to hurry up and slow down!
Self-reflection: meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions, or motives.
The year 2020 is about self-reflection. Experiencing an emotional, physical, and mental roller coaster can be exhausting, but then to realize you need to give pause and consider your constitution makes the task of navigating all the commotion even more taxing. Self-reflection is work. The growth from evaluating takes tools many are unwilling to uncover or use. Admittedly, I tire from self-reflection but welcome the rewards. Will my emotional intelligence grow? Will my empathy expand? Will my decision-making capabilities explode? Will my relationships strengthen? Sometimes, I am frankly not in the mood for self-reflection, but time and time and time again, 2020 does not seem to care. If I were properly reflecting right now, I'd be grateful. Insert a bit of sarcasm if you will. Apparently, I still have a lot to learn about the notion of self-reflection.
My current struggle is our annual ISPAN meeting. I am faced with the possibility of ending my presidency without the meeting and being together with friends and colleagues. Perhaps, the meeting will press on ... but maybe not. The decision cannot be made selfishly because I would love to attend, see all of you, and end my presidency on a positive mark while passing the baton to future leadership; however, ISPAN also must be responsible. We wait for the final decision to be made so that ISPAN can move forward with whatever plans are the most logical, while reducing financial consequences. Knowing the effort our committees have put forth to execute a flawless meeting makes me hurt when I contemplate making difficult decisions either way.
I encourage all our members to consider what self-reflection may bring to your lives. Take caution as the process can sting along the way, but I hope each of you is compensated with personal improvements. Just think, we still have 6 more months to go to turn 2020 into something remarkable despite the confusing and often frustrating start.
Amanda Bailey, MSN, ACNP-BC, CWS, CPSN, ISPAN-F
ISPAN President