The Book of Choices Mike Magee, MD Pfizer Medical Humanities Initiative Sponsored by Pfizer, Inc. 235 E 42nd St New York, NY 10017 Tele: 212-733-0959 Web site: http://www.positiveprofiles.com$23.95
Dr Magee wrote The Book of Choices as a reflection on his life as he passed the half-century mark. He identified 3 revelations that led to his writing this book. First, daily decisions, large and small, charted the course of his family's life. It was these choices that defined their lives. Second, challenges faced alone and with his family resulted in decisions and judgments that were not unique. The particulars, names, faces, locations, and time in history were changed, but many of the challenges, decisions, and mysteries have been faced for all of time. That realization led him to "accumulated wisdom" from the past 2 millennia, spanning Plato to Dante to Oprah. Third, he wanted the opinion of a younger person in the selection process of the quotes because they were not as "tainted" as he, so he enlisted the help of his daughter as she approached her 21st birthday.
He has produced a wonderful anthology of 77 life choices, accompanied by 780 quotations. Among the daily challenges are love or hate, hope or despair, perfection or imperfection, honesty or dishonesty, action or inaction, courage or fear, endure or give in, energized or bored, character or reputation, knowledge or ignorance, and life or death.
He begins his discussion on each choice with a reflection. For example, in the section on Solitude or Loneliness Magee states, "It is not always lonely to be alone. Quite the opposite. Solitude can be glorious. True loneliness can be a product of isolation and rejection, feeling unwanted and unloved, personally impoverished. Solitude is a choice. Loneliness is not. Solitude has its companions, a full range of active senses, heightened awareness and connection to place and time, firm grounding for the feet and thin air for the soaring spirit. Solitude feels good, loneliness does not. Solitude supports creativity, loneliness breeds only discontent. Human presence even in great numbers does not immunize against loneliness. When no one cares, no one cares period. If you feel no one cared, no one cares period. The perception is the reality. Each of us reaches out to connect. That is natural. It is not enough to be an island, a solitary self in a self-sufficient world. Each of us must also reach back in to touch another reacher for all of this to work."
Several quotes follow his reflection; for example: "Language has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone, and the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone," (Paul Tillich) and "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty," (Mother Teresa) as well as others that reinforce the reflection, or offer another view of the choices.
The book continues in this format, and is easy to read. Each life choice reflection is limited to 1 page, with a few being slightly longer. Encouraging, insightful, and thought-provoking reflections are followed by quotations, calling for the allowance of time to pause and consider what has been stated.
The book's weakness-a multitude of chapters-proves also to be its greatest asset. It should be read in increments, consumed in small doses. It can be a journey unto itself, encouraging us to examine our choices, acknowledging the good and the bad, and reinforcing our need as human beings to make the "right" choices, as difficult as that may be at any age.
The book's tone was compassionate. I felt as if I were sitting with a friend, agonizing over a difficult decision, knowing what was morally right but tempted by what society would consider proper, and that just one sentence or quote might bring the whole dilemma into focus.
Included in The Book of Choices are the biographies of the 350 individuals from whom Dr Magee quoted. This is a wonderful bonus as it was helpful to read the backgrounds of these people, some of whom we all know, but many whom we may not. The short bullets listed here lent an understanding of their backgrounds and provided small windows into their souls.
As hospice nurses, we have all sat with a patient or family and listened as they have lamented over "wrong" choices and expressed regrets. This anthology gives names to those life-determining choices and reinforces our need to listen to our souls and follow our hearts.
A quote from folk singer Joan Baez, in the "Life or Death" section, provides the perfect summary: "You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."