It was the subtitle of the book that caught my eye, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking.1 It's not that I "can't stand" positive thinking-it's just that we have taken positivity to the extreme. I recall my colleague who, when summarily replaced in her leadership position, was encouraged to smile and be positive when the announcement went public. I recall the student who sobbed that despite great effort, she could not view her course failure positively, as her instructor suggested. I recall the many workshop leaders who professed that positive thinking was the key to healthy living even in the face of tragedy. I bought the book and resonated with its thesis that this pervasive focus on happiness may be the root cause of misery; that self-care and self-responsibility include accepting life's negative aspects-failure, disappointment, uncertainty.
Thinking, not necessarily positively or negatively, is the key to choosing the best response to any situation. Analyzing the patterns of your reactions to situations creates a level of self-understanding that enables you to choose an effective response and if the response results in a poor outcome, so be it. I admired my colleague's acceptance and expression of her anger and hurt at the loss of her position and her rejection of "putting on a happy face." I listened as my colleague weaved through her options, carefully considering the pros and cons of each one, reminiscing about the experience and meaning of rejection, projecting and exploring worse case scenarios to each option. "Sometimes the most valuable of all talents is to be able not to seek resolution; to notice the craving for completeness or certainty or comfort, and not to feel compelled to follow where it leads."1(p206)
We live in an age where the "pursuit of happiness" has far surpassed the intent of those who included that phrase in the US Declaration of Independence; just visit the self-help section of your local bookstore or observe the gurus of happiness on TV. Positivity and the pursuit of happiness have become a cottage industry; but there are other ways to cope and get through life and acknowledge the benefit of the negative path.
There will be new situations and challenges that test your coping abilities-and always pursuing resolutions "happily" is neither realistic nor productive. One never quite arrives at a point in life where there is nothing more to do or learn or where happiness is complete. Creative coping is a continuous journey, not a place to reach-the most we can do is embrace the process and everything that comes with it, including not only "happiness" but also the downsides of life.
-Gloria F. Donnelly, PhD, RN, FAAN, FCPP
Editor-in-Chief
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