ON NEW YEAR'S DAY, nurses were called to an emergency meeting with our facility's CNO. I'd been working as a nurse in the cardiac ICU (CICU) for 6 years, so panic set in when I heard her say, "The CICU is closing." The hospital had a plan in place, however, and gave the nurses options for placement throughout the health system. I chose the pediatric ICU (PICU).

I was nervous about my choice because I wanted to be a great nurse, but I was moving into a field I knew nothing about. I spent every extra moment looking up information about pediatric nursing. I worried about inserting I.V. catheters, urinary catheters, and nasogastric tubes in children. However, I started feeling less anxious and more pleased about my choice when a friend reminded me that the advancements made in pediatric healthcare have been exponential; many children who would have died 10 years ago are now living full and healthy lives.

Emotional start

My first day as a pediatric nurse was a bit overwhelming, as I tried to learn all the behind-the-scenes details of the PICU. Fortunately, my first patient assignment was a sweet little girl with Down syndrome and a respiratory tract infection, and caring for her felt so natural. I began to feel more emotionally involved than I ever had with adults.

I've encountered so many children who are afraid of healthcare workers-and no wonder. We come at them with needles, medications, and instruments that would scare the bravest adult. I soon realized that I'd need new techniques for calming my patients before inserting I.V. catheters, because anticipatory guidance and relaxation techniques just don't work with children. My new techniques would have to feature accuracy and speed because second chances are hard to come by.

Heartbreaking challenge

My first patient death proved that this job could be heartbreaking. A child was admitted with a severe traumatic brain injury after being hit in the head with a blunt object by a sibling. The death was very traumatic, and I was uncertain how to respond as panic and fear consumed me. I was assisting the family with their needs the best I could as I was flooded with questions about coping, causes, and what can we do better next time. I went home and cried myself to sleep.

As the weeks passed I found myself withdrawing from doing the things I love, and I reached out to friends and family to help. I developed new friendships on the unit and began discussing my feelings with other pediatric nurses. Now I'm much more comfortable with my role as a pediatric nurse.

Nothing is more rewarding than receiving a thank-you from a child. I remember the time a young girl made me a bracelet as a thank-you; the emotions were overwhelming. I keep the bracelet in my car because as I drive to work each day, it makes me smile knowing that I truly made a difference in that little one's life. Even though I poked her with needles and made her walk the halls after abdominal surgery, she always asked that I be her nurse.

Giving a child your heart during a difficult time is easy. I've grown attached to the children I care for and I enjoy seeing their progress. Switching careers from adult cardiology to pediatric nursing is the most rewarding choice I've made in my lifetime.