Why I Hated Pink Confessions of a Breast Cancer Survivor, by Maryellen D. Brisbois. 2009. 262 pages, paperback, Amazon $15.95.

In her first publication, Maryellen Brisbois, a brilliant nursing leader and educator, finds herself with the diagnosis of breast cancer. This is not just another breast cancer survivor story, in journal format; she very candidly shares with us her breast cancer story from diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. It is a private journey told with dignity and a respectful recount of family thoughts, medical decisions, and discussions.

Have you ever really thought of what the color pink means, especially in the month of October? What would your reaction to a breast cancer diagnosis be? Do we ever really know the journey our patients take?

This is that memoir; 9 months Maryellen recorded quietly the treatment that touched her life. She reveals the day she told her children about her breast cancer wishing a heart attack on herself, so she did not have to tell them what she was about to undergo. What she learns about her children is their resiliency and maturity to accept the diagnosis. Her children do not skip a beat and keep all the house happenings as "business as usual." She records her amazement at how her body heals itself, from biopsy incisions, chemotherapy, and radiation burns.

Maryellen recounts her bad news in a cliche form via the telephone, "Are you sitting down, says the provider!!" "We actually talk to our patients like that, she contemplated." Delivering bad news to patients is always a difficult task. Not the task we like to perform every day. She discusses in a very candid manner about luck vanishing, karma, bad news, and bad luck lingering and hovering.

Ms Brisbane eloquently describes sitting in the examination room, with a patient gown on and being hammered with clinical information. She records thoughts of wanting to say, "Stop talking," and "why can't anyone make this contrast dye more palatable!!"

Patients need to have support or as she describes, having reinforcements present. We relay health care information to patients and expect they are ready to receive it at the time it is delivered. This is not the case. Fortunately for Maryellen she had her nursing school buddies, as she labels NSBs, as an additional support. Reading her book, I could feel her presence and the fears she felt-"Just lay still, no sweat, I thought, I'm too scared to move anyway!!"

"I am a doer and need answers and a plan," she says. Maryellen openly discusses her feelings, the quirky things she and her husband did during the process, and her struggles as a healthcare professional asking for help. The journal concludes with her cure and return to the medical workforce or in her terms, "the return to the human race."

In closing, Maryellen Brisbois, a health care professional, a cancer survivor, wife, and mother, faced the journey of breast cancer with extraordinary grace and dignity, whose memoir resonates confidence in treatment; there is great hope for the future for breast cancer. Pink ribbon campaigns embrace the power of awareness and individuals affected by it. A pink ribbon is the universal symbol for breast cancer; pink equals strength. Wear pink today and get a mammogram.

Note. A portion of the proceeds from this book will be donated to support the fight against breast cancer.

Lisa C. Strazzullo Riha, MSN

Family Nurse Practitioner

Christopher Newport University

Newport News, Virginia