Maybe you've seen the viral YouTube video of Kara Lawson coaching Duke's women's basketball team (https://youtu.be/oDzfZOfNki4)? Short but inspiring, she tells the team that it is hard (training and life too!) and waiting for easier just doesn't happen; what does happen is you "handle hard better." I couldn't help but relate "handling hard better" to nursing leadership and probably everything about nursing and healthcare, too.
It is hard now. We all hoped for easier after the first pandemic year but obviously that didn't happen. Instead, it got harder; you know the challenges we face. We're all learning how to #handlehardbetter so that we can be effective leaders.
Please don't think this will be a diatribe on resiliency. I've said it before and it bears repeating, we've been uber-resilient and don't need lessons on being more resilient. The focus here is more about personal development when dealing with difficulty, and, as we've been reading about lately, posttraumatic growth. We could frame #handlehardbetter in that way and avoid the meddlesome connection to resiliency. I'm quite tired of that concept. Even Jennifer Mensik Kennedy, the new president of the American Nurses Association, twitches when she hears the word resiliency.1 Maybe you share that sentiment, too.
You're probably wondering: how do I handle hard better? Some suggestions are "old" but remain important; for example, self-care. I know, you've heard it a thousand times, but are you doing it? I can handle whatever is on my plate much better after a yoga class or a day of heathy eating. Another bit of sage wisdom is capitalizing on the collective, the spirit of team. Lawson was coaching a team after all, and that team spirit and support is a factor in handling hard better. We're in this together.
Speaking of coaching, use your connections to find your own coach or, even better, coaches. Maybe it's a boss, peer, schoolmate, program advisor, or teacher. Maybe it's your mom or your partner or even your child. Perhaps coaching in this context is like mentoring, but I'm thinking more about cheerleading and encouragement. Mentoring as we know it is related but different.
What else? There's tremendous value to leader development programs and participation in any type of educational courses. They come with the benefits of continuous learning, networking, inspiration, and personal development. Learning formally is complemented by what you do informally: learning as you go and taking the time to self-reflect about learnings. You can see the connection to authentic and human-centered nurse leadership models and their all-important attributes of self-awareness and lifelong learning. Maybe practicing relational leadership models helps us #handlehardbetter too.
Lawson believes that accomplishing anything meaningful is hard. What defines "hard" can be quite subjective-your easy can be my hard and vice versa. Which brings us to the main message: Don't wait for easy or easier; it gets harder, and we have to shift to handling hard better. You will and you can. We learn as we go, we embrace the words of our coaches, we take care of ourselves, we have gratitude for the good all around us, we prioritize and let go of what's not under our control, and with that in place, we can #handlehardbetter. It's part of forging our way forward as nurse leaders.
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