Authors

  1. Lancaster, Jeanette

Article Content

Bereavement is defined in Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary as "The expected reactions of grief and sadness upon learning of the loss of a loved one." 1,p.204

 

However, the articles in this issue of Family & Community Health (25:1) point out that there is no one way, no right way, or no commonly expected way in which people who have experienced the loss of a loved one through death grieve.

 

Instead, what the authors point out is that there is a pattern or rhythm to the grieving evidenced by a person. The pattern may not be continuous, going from what is thought of as a first stage through a set of typically observed next stages. Rather because of the peaks and valleys in the emotional experience of bereavement, each person has a unique rhythm for dealing with grief. It is important to remember then that observers of the grieving person should avoid criticizing the bereaved person for not behaving in the commonly expected way. Rather, it is important to recognize the individualized nature of bereavement.

 

Some of the factors the authors in this issue of Family & Community Health describe as influencing the presentation of signs of bereavement include the cause of the person's death, the age of the person who died, whether there was a stigma attached to the cause of death, the nature and quality of the relationships in the family before the death of a member, and perhaps the existence of guilt related to the relationship or to other members of the family.

 

Several of the articles report on qualitative research studies, and what is useful is to learn how helpful families find supportive relationships, including those that in the context of the work of the relationship there are data collected for research purposes. Seemingly, for some people, answering the researcher's questions provided an opportunity to deal with the emotions and other unfinished business of bereavement. Interestingly, within this issue authors had differing points of view and data about what really was most useful in bereavement. Clearly, what was pointed out was that there is no guidebook for how to deal with loss. Each person and each family must learn a personal way to grieve. We cannot be assured that we will transfer, from one experience with bereavement to another, the ability to deal more effectively over time with a loss. Indeed, subsequent grief experiences often prompt the grieving person to relive or rethink about past losses. The old feelings come back again.

 

What the articles do convey is that professionals who work with individuals and families who have experienced a loss can provide substantial assistance to them. The value of the assistance, however, will be determined by the extent to which the professional allows the bereaved person to move at his or her pace and express the feelings of loss in the way most useful to them. 1

 

This issue has particular meaning to me, because I had just arrived in Taiwan with three other American nurses on September 10, 2001. Learning of the horrendous losses in my country in a land so far away greatly influenced our bereavement experiences. We were removed from the magnitude of the emotions of an entire nation in crisis. We saw the images and heard the words on television, but the full impact was only felt when we returned to the United States. As we all know, our bereavement as a nation is not over, nor have all of us resolved the many and complex feelings that accompany the events of our times.

 

REFERENCE

 

1. Thomas CL, ed. Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary, ed 16. Philadelphia: FA Davis; 1989. [Context Link]