Every morning as I walk down the hallway to our special dementia care unit, I begin to feel subtle changes in my body that inevitably accompany the nearing of my professional "home." My heart beats a little faster, my stride becomes slightly jaunty, and my respiration increases. There's a smile on my face so noticeable that everyone I pass reflects it back to me. I'm excited. I'm going to work on a unit that evokes pride and purpose and the tangible realization of a philosophy rich in the pursuit of excellence. I'm excited because I am part of a place that feels and is so right.

So just what is it that makes a special dementia care unit right? What qualities transcend the hype and truly focus on the outstanding?

Well, I suggest to anyone who is considering placing their loved one in special care that you ask the following 10 questions of as many people as possible throughout any given facility:

1. Will you honor the one I love? And if so, how will you show this honor?

2. Will you know my loved one-who he or she is now and who he or she once was? And if so, how will you come upon this vital information?

3. Will you provide moments of extreme pleasure and purpose throughout the course of a day? And if so, how will you provide these moments?

4. Will you regard my loved one with the tenderest care? And if so, how do you define tender?

5. Will you scatter "stuff," both day and night, for my loved one to enjoy? And if so, what do you see as "stuff"?

6. Will you insist that the special people who care for my loved one fulfill an intensive training regimen to best serve my loved one's special needs? And if so, may I see your intensive training regimen?

7. Will you regard enthusiasm and joy as criteria by which you will judge the efficacy of your dementia program? And if so, how will you foster enthusiasm and joy?

8. Will your unit have a discernable, yet varied rhythm so that each resident may dance to the beat of his own uniqueness? And if so, how will my loved one "feel" this rhythm?

9. Will you promise me that what you say is true? And if so, how will you show me the evidence of this truth?

And Finally, Number 10:

Will you delight in the partnership I wish to establish with you throughout this oh so scary journey I need to take with someone I love? And if so, will you take my hand?

Don't be afraid to ask these questions. They are the very questions I would and have asked for my own family member. I guarantee you that those facilities proud and confident in their philosophy and mission of care will jump at the chance to answer each and every one of your concerns.